Let’s be honest. Cupcake Wars is the stupidest show ever. I can’t even stand to watch it with its panel of judges that you can’t understand, the queer-ass host who, as far as I can tell, only job is to announce “10 minutes left cupcake bakers!!!”, and, worst of all, the contestants who are so overly fucking dramatic that it’s a wonder how their companies stay in business. So when I saw that they were doing a casting call for season 4, naturally I applied! The first step was to send them email with your company info, a picture and an explanation of why you should be on Cupcake Wars. Here’s what I told them:
From Laura Zimmerman laura@roxiescupcakes.com via gmail.com
To cupcakewars4@gmail.com
Date Wed, Aug 3, 2011 at 7:13 PM
Subject Cupcake Soldier Ready for War!
mailed-bygmail.com
Hello! My name is Laura Zimmerman and I’m the owner/operator of Roxie’s Cupcakes, a cupcake catering company in Virginia Beach, VA. My reason for wanting to be a part of Cupcake Wars is because whenever I tell anyone what I do for a living, they always reply, “Oh! You should totally be on Cupcake Wars!”. And I think to myself, “OMG, they’re so right! Why haven’t I thought of that?!? I’m going to email Cupcake Wars right now and tell them I want to be on their show! I bet it’s that easy!” Heh. Sarcasm aside, if the stars aligned correctly and by some ridiculous act of fate I was ever even considered for Cupcake Wars, I would be thrilled.
Side note: I once had an order for 50 dozen cupcakes (the largest I’ve ever taken on out of my home-based business), which is 400 shy of what’s baked in the final round of your show (I know, why am I telling you this?…pretty sure you’re well aware of what the requirements are for the final round). Anyway, in the midst of baking and decorating 600 cupcakes I remember thinking to myself, “there is no flippin’ way I could ever be on Cupcake Wars…1000 cupcakes is INSANITY!” Obviously I’ve changed my tune since then or I wouldn’t be submitting this email.
Thanks for the consideration!
-----
Laura Zimmerman
Roxie's Cupcakes
757-204-1305 l Mobile
www.roxiescupcakes.com
Facebook l Twitter l Flickr
PS – I guess it’s worth mentioning that I bake a mean cupcake!
As you can tell, I really put no thought or consideration into that email and never expected to hear anything from them. So imagine my surprise when about a week and a half later a casting associate actually called me! I literally thought I was going to pee my pants. He explained that the next step was to submit an audition video. FUN! So with only three days to actually put the thing together, my “assistant” Jen (who was required to be in the video) 750 miles away and busy with a 3 month old, I rounded up everyone that could possibly help in some way, shape or form and we rallied to produce THIS. Which, in my humble opinion, is the greatest Cupcake Wars audition video they’ll ever receive! Never mind that we blatantly broke the number one rule which was no skits or anything scripted. They said it needed to portray my personality and who I was…and I’ll be damned, but I couldn’t think of any better way to do so!!! We all had such a blast making it and I really don’t give a shit if I never hear from them. The more I watch that show, the more I realize how much I DON’T want to be on it. And really, what can $10,000 bucks get you these days anyway? Way to be cheap asses Cupcake Wars. I’d be lucky if I could find some broke-down, jalopy of an ice cream truck on Craigslist for $10,000.
No comments:
Post a Comment